The Night Before
by Just Celia
Summary: Sirius didn't notice Lily walking towards him till she whispered his name. She was clutching a bottle of butterbeer which Peter had no doubt spiked with vodka earlier on. Lily who he loved. Lily who was getting married in the morning.Damn.


_This is just a one shot I came up with the other day... I was just wondering how Sirius might've been feeling the night before his best friends got married and hey! This came up. _

_Disclaimer: If only. _

_Please enjoy, and I love reviews :D_

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><p><strong>The Night Before<strong>

The night before Lily and James got married there was a gathering of around fifty people: James' family and a load of old friends from Hogwarts. Lily's parents came, but her sister and her sister's husband couldn't make it. They made no excuse: they simply didn't want to come. Lily, for once, didn't care. Who needed a jealous sister when they had an amazing husband-to-be?

The gathering took place on a cliff top. James had stumbled upon the place while apparating and, when he had shown it to Lily, she had deemed it perfect. The wind whistled, almost aggressively, through the air, but nobody minded. Everyone was happy.

Although there weren't loads of people, Sirius managed to easily get lost amongst the crowd, finding himself a seat on a lonely bench, away from the hubbub of the canopy, under which the bar had been setup. From where he sat, he could see Lily and James, clutching gleefully onto each others' fingers, while chatting to friends, their mouths hanging open in permanent laughs.

After a little while, James came to find his best man, and friend. It was unusual for Sirius to be separated from the action, and James was anxious at his friend's uncharacteristic moroseness.

"Padfoot!" He cried, flinging himself into the seat next to Sirius', a smile plastered onto his face, so wide that its tips pushed up his spectacles. Sirius grinned at him,

"You need to get rid of those glasses, mate." He said.

"Never!" James replied, in mock seriousness, "I shall wear them till I die, and then my son shall wear them, and his son after that!"

"I shall not allow it," Sirius said, in the same tone, "I doubt your children will all want to look like twats." James smiled.

"I am the happiest man alive, Sirius." He said, dreamily, gazing out towards the sky, where the stars sat.

"I don't doubt it." Sirius muttered, not looking at the stars, but at Lily, who was swaying gently, her eyes closed while her friend, Alice Longbottom, talked to her, animatedly.

"She mentioned Severus, you know. Last night, she mentioned him." Sirius' eyes snapped up to James' face.

"So what?" he asked, "he's long gone, James. Long gone to be a bloody deatheater." He spat the words. James shrugged.

"She just said she wished he could've come, is all. Wished that he wasn't a-"

"Stupid damn prat who knows nothing of loyalties." Sirius finished, derisively.

"Yeah," James murmured, "something like that."

"Listen, mate. You've got the girl. Snape is never coming back. He wouldn't have anything to do with her now. Not now he's where he belongs with all those other muggle hating bastards." James didn't reply. Sirius sighed and looked about him. He loved his friends and he was happy for them but, dammit, he just wanted to go home. Wherever home was: after moving out of James' house three years ago, he'd been mostly on the move, renting out muggle apartments when he had the money, squatting in them when he didn't. He hadn't a care for finding a real home, to be honest, not when Voldermort and his deatheaters were lurking around every corner: what's the point of having a house if it can be torn down at any second? After a few moments of simply staring, aimlessly about him, Sirius spotted Remus, leaning heavily against one of the tables he had helped set up earlier. The werewolf was staring up at the crescent moon, with a tortured expression on his face. He had a few weeks till his change, and already he was no doubt feeling the depressed by the thought of it.

"Moony!" Sirius called for him, more to end the awkward silence between him and James than for his actual desire to see his fellow Marauder. Although he couldn't help but grin when Remus turned and saw them, and then loped over, the sadness already draining from his eyes when he saw his two friends.

"Sirius," he exclaimed, happily, "I haven't seen you at all yet. Wormtail has been keeping me busy,"

"How is he?" Sirius asked.

"Off his head. Sky high," he laughed, gesturing towards where Peter sat, amongst some others, with his legs dangling over the edge of the cliff and a joint between his lips. Far down below him, the sea lapped gently at the rock face. James laughed with him for a moment, and Sirius decided not to tell them that he was seriously considering joining Peter and snatching the spliff from between his fingers. He needed the distraction. But he said nothing and, when James and Remus moved away, talking loudly, he remained where he was, turning his attention back to Lily.

Her eyes were open now, and they shone brightly, moistened by the brisk, sea air. Her friends had wondered off, no doubt expecting her to follow but she, like Sirius, stayed behind. After a moment she turned, her eyes roving around the cliff top, and then she stopped when she spotted Sirius. He stared straight back into her eyes for a moment, and then had to draw them away: he felt sick.

Sirius had never been a jealous man. He was more of the type that felt pleased for everyone else; congratulated them and commiserated with them, but never actually wanted what they had. But this was different: James was different. James had _everything _that Sirius had ever wanted, yet he never mentioned it or got upset and he had _never _allowed himself to get jealous... until now, the night before the wedding, when it truly hit him: James was getting married to Lily Evans in the morning. James, who had the loving family, the massive house. James, the only child with incredible skills on the quidditch pitch and one of the smartest kids in school. James, bloody popular, amazing James. It wasn't fair that he should get Lily too. Sirius groaned to himself and looked down at his hands.

He didn't notice Lily walking towards him, until she whispered his name.

"Sirius?" and his head jerked upwards to look at her. She was holding tightly onto a bottle of butterbeer, which Peter had undoubtedly spiked with the muggle vodka earlier on, and her expression was a little out of focus. She staggered slightly, and Sirius jumped to his feet to hold her steady.

"How many of those have you had, Lil?" he asked her, gently. She gave a minute shrug.

"I'm getting married tomorrow," she informed him, lifting her hand to push his black hair out of his face, so she could see his reaction.

"I know," he smiled, "that's what we're all here for, love."

"Oh," she pouted. Sirius sighed; Lily's stunning, red hair, framed her high cheekbones beautifully. Then her expression brightened, "are you excited?" she asked, "you don't look excited..."

"No, no! Of course I'm excited. I'm beyond excitement." He muttered, a little drily. Lily frowned.

"I can always tell when you're lying." She said. Sirius burst out laughing,

"There's a difference between lying and sarcasm, Lily." He chuckled.

"I missed you, Sirius," she said, quietly. So quietly that Sirius could barely believe she'd said it.

"What?"

"When you left James' and you disappeared. I missed you."

"Oh." Sirius said, disappointed.

"And," she pressed, sensing what he felt, "I missed you in Hogwarts, too." Sirius looked at her.

"James loves you," he said, "we were right to break it off. You'll be happier... with him." Lily shrugged,

"I think I'd be equally happy either way," she said, "but I'm not happy now."

"Why?" Sirius asked, his eyes widening. He should _not _be feeling these emotions; he should _not _care whether she was happy or not, so why did her words make him feel as though he was drowning?

"Because you're so sad." She said, "and I really want what we had back then."

"You can have it. You can have it with James."

"Yeah, maybe." She said. Sirius looked down at her, as she stood on tiptoes, her lips just reaching his chin. It was his job to then lower his mouth to hers.

It was different to how they had kissed in Hogwarts: in Hogwarts, it had only been once, and it had been quick and exciting and scary, both of them half terrified of Prongs bursting into the corridor. Now it... well it just didn't feel the same. Neither of them were afraid, and neither of them were excited either: it didn't mean anything that it had meant back then. It didn't hold possible promises of a future. It was a moment, and that was all. Just a moment.

When they broke apart, Lily rested her head on Sirius' chest. "Love you," she mumbled into his jacket.

"Love you too." He said, and squeezed his arm, tightly, around her, "and James." Lily looked at his face, and then pulled away from him.

"I love James with everything." She told him. Sirius nodded.

"I will always be here, for both of you." He said. Lily grasped his hand for a moment, and then left him standing there, to find her fiancé. The Jealousy had left Sirius' veins: he was not the one for Lily, and she was not the one for him. Sirius would always be there to protect her though. That was his purpose, and he would carry it through till he died. And tomorrow, he would smile all the way through the wedding, and would be laughing when they took the photos.

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><p><em>Thank you for reading! I'd love to know what you think :D<em>

_Just Celia_


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